我的情感風格是怎樣？（現時只有英文版本）

Based on the answers you have given, it can be challenging for you to listen to bodily signals of emotions and make sense of them. This isn't dangerous and doesn't mean that you have done anything wrong. Many people are quite good at understanding emotions even without listening to the body, it just happens automatically. However, if you feel that you do often do not understand what your feeling or often get overwhelmed without knowing why and what is going on, it may be helpful for you to practice listening more to your body.

Here are some tips on what you can do. When you feel an emotional reaction or notice that your body is responding to something, ask yourself the following questions:

• Where in the body do I feel this right now? Be as concrete as possible, and feel free to put a caring hand over where you sense it.
• Try to put into words how it feels physically. Describe it as carefully as you can, in such detail that another person could have pictured it.
• Keep searching the right words, until you feel that it fits with what you're feeling.
• Try to complete the following sentence: "When I feel like this in my body, I feel... (sad/angry/scared etc.)".

You can also benefit from doing the exercise "What am I feeling?" or go see the Exercise Library.

Based on your answers, you are quite good at noticing bodily signals of emotions and to make use of them. However, you may sometimes find it difficult to understand what exactly your feelings are trying to tell you. If you feel that you struggle understanding your feelings or experience overwhelming feelings without knowing why and what is going on, it may be helpful for you to practice attending more to the signals from the body. Remember that your feelings come to you as bodily signals (emotions). Thus, it may be helpful to check in on what you're sensing in your body if you do not fully understand what you're feeling.

Here are some tips for how to practice. When you feel an emotional reaction or notice that your body is responding to something, ask yourself the following questions:

• Where in the body do I feel this right now? Be as concrete as possible, and feel free to put a caring hand over where you sense it.
• Try to put into words how it feels physically. Describe it as carefully as you can, in such detail that another person could have pictured it.
• Keep searching the right words, until you feel that it fits with what you're feeling.
• Try to complete the following sentence: "When I feel like this in my body, I feel... (sad/angry/scared etc.)".

You can also benefit from doing the exercise "What am I feeling?" or go see the Exercise Library.

Based on your answers, you are good at listening to the body's signals when you feel something. This is a great skill to have when you find yourself in difficult situations with strong emotions. It makes you able to move your attention to what's going on inside you and ask yourself the question: "What do I need when I feel like this?". Or maybe it happens automatically and you just know. Either way - if you're suddenly having trouble understanding what you're feeling, you can benefit from noticing what you're sensing in your body and try to complete the following two sentences:

• "Now I feel ..."
• "When I feel like this, I need ..."

If you want to explore more or become even more aware, try the exercise "What am I feeling?" in the Exercise Library.

You may also tend to experience powerful emotions in your body, but without being able to make sense of it. This can be very painful, for example, like severe anxiety or panic without any direction. If you struggle with this, you can practice making sense of your bodily signals  during the anxiety by doing the exercise "What am I feeling when I Panic?" in the Exercise Library. If you need to calm down you can do the exercise "Soothing painful emotions" in the Exercise Library.

Based on the answers you have given you are pretty good at attending to and allowing your feelings in order to understand them. This is a nice skills to have for several reasons:

• When you feel something you have emotional needs that need to be met (sadness needs comfort, fear needs security, anger needs to put boundaries, and so on). This means that your emotions are trying to tell you something about what you need.
• In order to understand your emotional needs, you must allow your feelings to be there, even when it hurts.
• If you do not want your feelings to be there or view them as irrational noise, you are less likely to have your emotional needs met because you either do not know or want to listen to what you need.
• In other words, emotional competence means being able to pay attention to your feelings and allowing them to be there.
• This doesn't mean that you have to act on your emotions. You can also choose not to. But this is much easier to do if you actually know what you're feeling.

Based on the answers you have given, it is quite challenging for you to attend to and accept your emotions in order to understand them. You may tend to yell at your feelings, try to make them go away without listening to them or ignoring and downplaying them. This can cause some problems, for some important reasons:

• When you feel something you have emotional needs that need to be met (sadness needs comfort, fear needs security, anger needs to put boundaries, and so on). This means that your emotions are trying to tell you something about what you need.
• In order to understand your emotional needs, you must allow your feelings to be there, even when it hurts.
• If you do not want your feelings to be there or view them as irrational noise, you are less likely to have your emotional needs met because you either do not know or want to listen to what you need.
• In other words, emotional competence means being able to pay attention to your feelings and allowing them to be there.
• This doesn't mean that you have to act on your emotions. You can also choose not to. But this is much easier to do if you actually know what you're feeling.

You may benefit from practicing the following:

• When you feel painful emotions, try to actively allow them to be there for a while. This may mean saying to yourself: "This feels bad, but that's okay. I'm allowed to feel bad. It is important to me to find out what this means, and I need some time to explore it".
• You can do the exercise "What am I feeling?" in the Exercise Library.
• You can practice showing yourself self-compassion, for example by doing the exercise "Comfort myself" in the Exercise Library.
• You can benefit from trying to explore why it is so that you do not want to accept or attend to what you're feeling. Often, such attitudes could come from the emotional style of your family, your caregivers or past experiences of not being understood, being criticised or ridiculed when you felt bad. If you know what it is about, you can do the exercise "Exploring Emotional Memories" in the Exercise Library.

You may also tend to not always "own your own feelings". This means that you may sometimes feel like your emotions are inflicted upon you from the outside world from what others say or do. It feels more like they are causing you painful emotions, rather than you're feeling something painful in response to them. This can cause problems, because you may feel like it's only up to the outside world to change in order for you to feel better. At worst, you risk being self-pitying, and feel like a victim of emotions without any opportunity to do anything about it.

Remember that your feelings are just that - your feelings. If you feel something bad, it is because your emotional needs are affected and what you need. Your feelings are, of course, influenced by what others do and say, but you still have to treat your feelings as your own subjective experiences, characterized by your needs and experiences. Emotional needs can always be worked on - even without others changing. If you would like to read more about this, you can visit the page about self-compassion.

You seem to be good at listening to your emotions when making decisions. This means that you are more likely to make decisions that you are happy with and that do you good (at the time you're making the decision).

You may tend to not pay attention to your feelings when making decisions. This may mean that you take most of your choices in life in spite of what you really need emotionally, whether it be work, relationships, or friendships. This is fine, as long as you are aware of it. It's all right to know what you want to do, but still choose something else, as long as you are conscious of what that means.

On the other hand, this may mean that you are making decisions that don't do you well. If you struggle with decision-making or often choose things that aren't good for you, you can benefit from practicing attending to your emotions when making decisions. This includes listening to, allowing, and attending to your feelings, as well as exploring what makes you stop yourself from doing what you feel like. You can do the exercise "I stop myself!" in the Exercise Library or "Exploring Emotional Memories" if you know a where this pattern might come from.

Given your answers, you find it challenging finding words for your feelings, (i.e. expressing what you feel and how it is for you). This can make it difficult for you to understand what you are feeling, but also difficult for others to understand your experience or to meet your emotional needs. If you want to practice on this, you may benefit from attending more to your bodily experiences and try to find the right words for how it feels. Some helpful tips may be:

• How does this feel to you?
• Complete the sentence: "I feel ... (e.g. angry)"
• Try using images or metaphors to elaborate: "It's just as if I'm left on the outside" or "It feels like he's out to get me"
• Try to put into words what you need. Try to distinguish between what you need emotionally and practically. It's the emotional need we are looking for (security, support, comfort, feeling accepted, boundaries, etc.).
• Complete the sentence: "When I feel like this, I need..."

Given your answers, you are quite good at finding the right words for what you're feeling. If you still want to practice, some questions and tips may be:

• How does this feel to you?
• Complete the sentence: "I feel ... (e.g. angry)"
• Try using images or metaphors to elaborate: "It's just as if I'm left on the outside" or "It feels like he's out to get me"
• Try to put into words what you need. Try to distinguish between what you need emotionally and practically. It's the emotional need we are looking for (security, support, comfort, feeling accepted, boundaries, etc.).
• Complete the sentence: "When I feel like this, I need..."
• Is this a familiar feeling? Have you felt like this before?

Based on your answers, you may tend to use a slightly vague, impersonal or general language when talking about your feelings. This can be bad because it might be difficult to create meaning ofhow you're feeling both for yourself and for others. To practice using a more personalized language, these tips can help:

• Use personal pronouns ("I get sad"), not general ("you get bored") when you are talking about yourself
• Use specific words to describe emotional experiences ("I feel insecure" instead of "it feels weird")
• Try not to downplay your emotions (say "I'm angry" instead of "I'm annoyed" if you're angry)
• In general, try to find more words to describe what you are feeling. You may want to repeat yourself, but try to make the descriptions richer with more nuances ("It's painful that she is gone and that I won't be able to see her again. I miss her" instead of "It's sad")

Based on your answers, you are quite good at wording what you feel. This is good because it makes it more likely that you and others understand what you're feeling. To practice even more, these tips can help:

• Use personal pronouns ("I get sad"), not general ("you get bored") when you are talking about yourself
• Use specific words to describe emotional experiences ("I feel insecure" instead of "it feels weird")
• Try not to downplay your emotions (say "I'm angry" instead of "I'm annoyed" if you're angry)
• In general, try to find more words to describe what you are feeling. You may want to repeat yourself, but try to make the descriptions richer with more nuances ("It's painful that she is gone and that I won't be able to see her again. I miss her" instead of "It's sad")

You have a tendency to be talking about your emotions and not with them. This means that you may talk about how you're feeling, but without showing emotional activation in your voice or language. This isn't always a bad thing, but it may cause some challenges if you are trying to tell others how you feel, without actually showing it at the same time. For example, if you are very sorry, but do not show it while you are telling it, others might not believe you. If you want to practice this, try doing the exercise "What am I feeling?" in the Exercise Library, and practice saying out loud how you're feeling whilst attending to your bodily signals.

Based on your answers, you have great difficulty showing and expressing your feelings. This could mean that you tend to keep your feelings hidden from others, deal with trouble on your own, or that you mightfeel ashamed when you're feeling something (e.g. ashamed of feeling scared). This doesn't have to be a problem - it is up to you what you want to share with other people, and people differ in how comfortable they are with sharing emotions. However, it can be a big problem if you suffer of hurt or painful emotions, and aren't able to get support, security, affirmation or care from others. In other words: as long as you get what you need it is fine, but if you end up going alone with a lot of emotional pain it can cause mental health problems for you.

Showing more emotion is no easy task, but here are some tips along the way:

• Try to find someone you really trust and who is good to talk to. Choose a person that you feel might greet your with understanding and empathy, without asking you to just pull yourself together or think in a different way.
• If you are going to talk to someone about your feelings, try starting by saying something like this: "It's something I'd like to talk to you about. I don't feel so good". If you feel that you get emotional or tear up, that's fine. Try to let it be there, that's the point.
• As you speak, try to use specific words for how you're feeling, and try to allow your emotions show in your voice or face. It's also okay to say, "I don't actually know what I'm feeling, but I think I may need some help from you to figure it out."
• If you struggle to express feelings to others, you can first practice showing yourself compassion and understanding of what you are feeling. You can do this, for example, by reading about Self-compassion.
• For example, if you want to practice, you can do a writing exercise where you write a letter to yourself or someone and try to describe what you feel.
• If you want, you can also do a visualization exercise. Imagine the person you want to talk to, as if he or she is sitting right in front of you. Then you can practice telling the other how you feel and how it is for you. If you want, you can also switch chairs to where the other "sits" and feel what it's like to hear it and what you feel like saying back
• If you want to address something difficult with someone who has done something bad to you, such as a parent, you can do the "Difficult Experiences with Others" exercise in the Exercise Library.

Given your answers, you're like most people showing and expressing emotion. Sometimes it's hard, other times it's easier. This means that you can ask for help and confide when you really need it, but you aren't necessarily that comfortable with it. If you feel okay, that's great. If it feels like you're dealing with a lot of hurt or painful emotions on your own, you might benefit from working on asking for help. Remember, painful emotions have emotional needs like support, comfort, feeling secure and so on. Here are some tips to get you going:

• Try to find someone you really trust and who is good to talk to. Choose a person that you feel might greet your with understanding and empathy, without asking you to just pull yourself together or think in a different way.
• If you are going to talk to someone about your feelings, try starting by saying something like this: "It's something I'd like to talk to you about. I don't feel so good". If you feel that you get emotional or tear up, that's fine. Try to let it be there, that's the point.
• As you speak, try to use specific words for how you're feeling, and try to allow your emotions show in your voice or face. It's also okay to say, "I don't actually know what I'm feeling, but I think I may need some help from you to figure it out."
• If you struggle to express feelings to others, you can first practice showing yourself compassion and understanding of what you are feeling. You can do this, for example, by reading about Self-compassion.
• For example, if you want to practice, you can do a writing exercise where you write a letter to yourself or someone and try to describe what you feel.
• If you want to address something difficult with someone who has done something bad to you, such as a parent, you can do the "Difficult Experiences with Others" exercise in the Exercise Library.

Based on your responses, you are quite good at showing and expressing emotions, and you aren't very anxious about it either. That's nice! The important thing for you is to remember to choose the right place, time, and people to talk to. 

You have a clear tendency to want to hide or conceal your emotions when you feel hurt. This may indicate that you are ashamed of your feelings. So you will often feel shame as a secondary feeling for other more vulnerable primary feelings. This is common especially if you have experienced being punished for showing emotion, been criticized a lot or growing up in a family where hurt feelings are not accepted. To work on this, you can read more about primary and secondary feelings, and do the "Exploring Emotional Memories" or "Difficult Relationships with Others" exercises in the Exercise Library.