Being in contact with your emotions means that you know when you feel something and that you can listen to what your feelings are trying to tell you about your needs. Fortunately, our emotions work so we don’t always have to spend so much deliberate time to figure them out. During a normal day, your emotions are operating in the background, helping you to deal with small and big events in your life. In other words, nobody is constantly in deliberate contact with their emotions. And nobody knows at all times what their emotions are trying to tell them.
Being in contact with emotions rather means that you can get in touch with your feelings when needed. If something important happens, but you don’t really know what you’re feeling and what you need, then it’s helpful to notice your emotionas and be able to become more aware of what you need to do to handle the situation.
For example, if you are in a difficult conflict at your work place, knowing what you feel will be helpful in understanding what it is about the conflict that is difficult for you. By staying in contact with your emotions, you are more likely to manage your own needs, and making good desicions both for you and your colleagues. If you have difficulties getting in touch with your feelings, chances are that the conflict will lead to an unfavorable outcome for you and your colleagues.
In a simplified way, contacting your emotions is about five things: 1. being able to notice that you feel something, most often in the body; 2. allowing those feelings to be there without being overwhelmed, even if the emotions are painful; 3. figuring out what the embedded need is; 4. finding words and expressing the emotion, and; 5 use all this information as a compass for what to do in that specific situation.
It is painful not to be in contact with or to not understand your emotions. It often leaves you feeling puzzled, confused, overwhelmed or even flat and depleated. In addition, not being in contact with your emotions increases the chances for poorer desicion making.